Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
