Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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