i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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