listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
