would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize