thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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