you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
