Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
