hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize