And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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