i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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