is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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