you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
