Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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