Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Randomize
