I'm going to jail i love you
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
