the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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