guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
