I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
