So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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