That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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