I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
