I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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