dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
