Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We have started to decorate penises.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
