Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
