Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
