I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
