If i come over, it means nothing
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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