I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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