How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
