Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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