Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
