Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
