My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
