you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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