i just had sex bonerless
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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