Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
this just has baby written all over it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize