I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
