We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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