Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
