I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
How does one acquire holy water?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
