do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
