It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
