dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
