We're like a lot better than the average bears
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
