There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
