just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
bring money and cleavage
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
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