He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
