oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
