Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
accomplished twins. life is a go
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
