the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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