i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
