Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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