Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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