a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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