it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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